Poster for The Thing (2011)

Let me start this off by making something really clear. I put “review” in quotations because I’m not technically reviewing this film. I’m not going to give it a score. I don’t think it’s fair, as I’m far too attached to John Carpenter’s film from 1982 to judge this movie in its own right, and I think that will be apparent. If Carpenter’s version never existed, I may have enjoyed this film far more, but since this movie would never have existed if not for The Thing from 1982, that’s kind of moot. Moving on…

I’m going to tell you now, if you don’t want the movie spoiled, you’re not going to want to read this. I’m going to ruin the whole movie for you, but since the movie does a good enough job of ruining itself, I don’t think I’m doing anything too immoral. Besides, for those who’ve seen the Carpenter version, there shouldn’t be too much to spoil, right? We know no one survives, right? Right? Well…maybe everyone dies… Continue reading