THE ENGINEER AND THE BLACK DEATH
Hotel food sucks. They charge an exorbitant amount of money for shit on a plate and after five days of eating that garbage, just the thought of a greasy slice of pizza would make the insides of my cheeks sweat.
Even the eggs suck. How in Zeus’s lightning do you fuck up eggs?
I guess it doesn’t help that I’m picky and don’t eat meat.
I had a vegetable panini one night; which in this case was squash, zucchini, mushrooms and some other crap on focaccia bread. Sure, it sounds mighty tasty, but damned if it didn’t make me want to fucking vomit. First, I pick it up and some big shiny red thing’s sticking out the side, wobbling around like a floppy dildo, then every time I try to take a bite of the bastard, these goddamn slimy sea creatures squeeze right out from between the buns and flop onto my plate with a wet splashing sound.
Needless to say, I took a stroll through the blistering cold to get pizza after that experience, rather than eat at the blasted hotel. It was either the elements, or I do battle with the fucking Kraken again. Continue reading